3 Men and a Little Crazy

Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.

My Kids are Aging Me

I know I haven’t blogged lately, but I have been so busy getting my boys off to their first days of 2nd and 9th grade. I’d say half of us parents are in celebration mode, and the other half are in a funk, missing their kids during the day – not hearing their voices – their screaming voices – at me and each other – okay. Maybe I’m half and half. 😊
Seriously, though, I do miss them and I’ve found myself sleeping a lot this past week during the day while they were gone and not getting too terribly much done. That’s not really like me. At least the sleeping part.
Anyway, the only thing Caden has asked me to do is drive him to/from school each day (he doesn’t want to walk in the afternoons because it’s too hot). The only thing Brennan has asked me to do? Oh wait, that’s right. He didn’t ask.
He texted me this past Tuesday (you are correct; that was the second day of school) and said the following:

That girl is gonna take me to chipotle today. So I’ll call you and tell you when to pick me up.

“That girl” is Rebecca. And she’s a junior.
I told him I was not comfortable with that, and he knows that he is not permitted to date yet. He “swears” it’s not a “date”, that “they’re only friends”.
(Like all of those quotations? Get ya excited?)
Nevertheless, I told him, he wasn’t permitted to go. He said that she was already on her way to pick him up at the school. This is where I grow incredibly frustrated and tell him that I’m coming to pick him up now, and if he dares to leave, I will show up at Chipotle and make a scene.
Now, let’s take a step back. I’m thinking in my mind, if this girl is just a friend, why is he going behind my back and making plans with her only to tell me after-the-fact? #1, because he knows I wouldn’t allow it (#duh). I think maybe had they gone about this the right way (like respectable young people), meaning Brennan asking if she could come over to the house and then introducing her to his father and me, this whole situation might have gone a little different.
Back to the drama. He tells the girl he can’t go with her, but in the meantime, he proceeds to send me the meanest text messages you can think of. Just the teenageriest messages ever. “Once I’m 18, I’m leaving and never coming back! Wah!” “I hate my life!” You know the classics. Nah, for real, though, some of those messages crossed the line. Brennan tends to say things in text that he cannot in person because he has not the balls to do so (like 99% of all people). So as I angrily drive to go and pick him up, I explain to Caden not to try and interrupt while I talk to Brennan once he gets in the car, because he is in trouble and the first person he’ll lash out at is him, and then it will just be all-out chaos. In the car. Driving. No way. He agrees, and I pick Brennan up. I start what is commonly known as the I-am-mad-as-hell-at-you-so-I’m-going-to-lay-my-wrath-upon-you scream, ahem, speech. Flailing arms and all. My kids rarely see or know this side of me. Caden is so quiet that one may as well have forgotten that he was even in there, and Brennan won’t give me eye contact as he’s huddled against his car door. Every time he tries to get a word in edge-wise, BAM! Nope. I simply explained to him in very vivid words that he is still a child and as such, he is not permitted to make adult decisions yet. I know he likes to think that he’s a man because he looks like one on the outside, but inside he is a child. Under my roof. That’s mine. That follows my rules. Who does NOT disrespect his mother (or father) in any way. I took his phone (meaning I straight-up wrestled it out of that boy’s living hands).
We get home and Caden scurries in the house while I gather what I need from the car. As I go inside, I see that my poor 8-year old is huddled on the couch with tears in his eyes. Brennan walked upstairs slowly to his room, and I waited for him to do so. Kelsey had been home and knew of the situation, so he comes downstairs and asks what’s wrong with Caden and what happened. Damage control time. I go to Caden and talk to him. “What’s wrong, baby? I’m so sorry. Mommy didn’t mean to scare you like that. Bubba {Brennan} has to know that he can not make adult decisions for himself yet and take off with strangers that Mommy and Daddy don’t know. He also needs to know that he can no longer disrespect Mommy like that. Mommy puts up with a lot from him, and he knows it. He needs to know he can’t do that. I’m sorry you had to see Mommy get so mad.” Kelsey asks him, “Does Mommy yell louder than Daddy…?” To which Caden replies, “Louder, even. I’ve never seen her yell that loud.” Turns out after talking to him for a good minute, he had misunderstood something important – while I was reading some of Brennan’s hateful texts back to him, Caden thought I was saying them…as in the 1st person. I had to explain that. Finally after talking to him for a good twenty-thirty minutes, he understood, I apologized, we all hugged, and he asked me, “Mommy, will I be a jerk like Brennan one day? I don’t want to be!” I didn’t have the heart to tell him that his raging future teenage hormones would be the determining factor in that, so I just laughed and said, “No.” Hey. Don’t judge. One bridge at a time.
So then I notice that Kelsey has the football in his hand.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m just going to talk to him.” he says, calmly.
Through seething teeth, I say, “No! I told you I had this handled!”
“I’m just going to talk to him.” he said again.
So here comes Brennan down the stairs. They go outside and have man time for about an hour and come back in. Brennan’s dinner is ready by then, and he seems much calmer. I talk to him and tell him that I don’t like getting that angry – at anyone – but he pushed it there, and from now on, he had better learn to be respectful. He hung his head and said he knew and was sorry, then hugged me.
“So dad says that maybe if she comes over and introduces herself to y’all, maybe she can watch a movie at our house or something.” he says.
“If dad truly said that, we will discuss it.” I said. I was sorta in shock over that actually, because Kelsey has been a staunch supporter of him not dating until he’s 16. So I ask Kelsey, and he agrees to it. Now this girl is supposed to come over this evening, introduce herself, and watch a movie with my 14-year old. I asked Kelsey if he thought they were really “just friends”, and like a true a-hole, he says, “I dunno. I haven’t seen her. I haven’t seen them interact.”
“Babe, please don’t be stupid…or naive – as you call me all the time. Why would he allow some unattractive girl to take him to a restaurant that he doesn’t like?!” I retort. He laughs.
Later on, Brennan decides to show me a few pics of the girl. He claims she’s “average” (which is what Kelsey claimed of the 18-year old girl that wooed him when he was only 15 – 😒). In fact, she is NOT average. She is cute. Very cute. I am not so naive to think that my son isn’t thinking of one thing and one thing only: THIS HOT UPPERCLASSMAN WANTS MY BODY! HELL YEAH! 😒

Better believe there will be lots of trips made downstairs this evening.

**The event has been rescheduled in order to find the movie “Godzilla” to rent.**

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This entry was posted on August 31, 2014 by in Uncategorized.
3 Men and a Little Crazy

Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.

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