3 Men and a Little Crazy

Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.

Pray. Trust. Wait. Repeat.

“Y’all don’t realize how much I need you and love you. Especially you. I may act like I hate you at times every day or so. But I would break down and die if I lost you to something like that or at all.”

This is what Brennan texted me today.

It’s not often that he shares emotions like this with me, although I consider us to be close and we share a very communicative relationship. As you can imagine, it made me feel all warm and gooey inside to hear him admit how much he loves me and needs me around. He doesn’t exactly tell me that too often…and when I say “too often”, I mean never. Of course he tells me loves me every day, but not like this. I told him that I understand that he’s a teen, and that teens are hormonal, so I take all of that into consideration when he cops attitude…as hard as that may be sometimes. It’s been a little over a year since I’ve gotten out of jail, and I still tend to carry a lot of guilt around about all of the drugs I did, going go jail and leaving him and Caden – not to mention stealing those years of innocence from them. In regards to that, he said,

“Took you a while to get back to us. That was traumatizing. But yes I do think you are a good mom. Now stay on the right path and that mindset of mine won’t be hindered. Hope you do realize that if you do that again I will have lost all my trust, respect, and faith in you and it will be hard to regain.”

Of course, I already know this, and I wish all I could say is “Don’t worry, son. It will never happen again.” and have him believe me (because it won’t)…but with him, it’s going to take a lot more time and effort on my part before things are 100% back to normal again. And that’s okay. I’m willing to wait however long it takes for him to completely trust me again.



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This entry was posted on August 20, 2014 by in Uncategorized.
3 Men and a Little Crazy

Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.

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